Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter Kelly Osbourne discussed relapsing on drugs in a new “Knockin’ Doorz Down” podcast interview. She called it a ‘blessing in disguise’ in terms of where she is at now. Ozzy Osbourne Leaks ‘Nasty’ Lemmy Remark.
“I was running on my own self-will for too long, because I got happy. And I am that classic addict that is, like, ‘Oh, I’m happy. Everything’s great now. I can do whatever the fuck I want.’ And it took one person saying one thing to me that let the addict in my head be, like, ‘F**k.’ ‘Cause I was dealing with a lot of stress. Everyone has this year.
If you’re in a program, the pandemic has really screwed a lot of people, became we need our fellowship, we need our meetings, we need the program and the way that it was. And then, all of a sudden, that gets ripped away from you. And you’re, like, ‘How do I start again?’ And then you become a classic victim, and you start looking for excuses, and look for the excuse. And then I finally found the excuse that I need and I took it.
The thing that destroys me is that I lost my time,” she continued. “Because my ego was, like, ‘I’ve got this many years,’ and, ‘I’ve been sober for this much time.’ And then I realized that’s not what this is about — that’s not what this is about at all.
The reason why it happened — it did not last long. It was a quick bender. And the reason I had to be honest about it is because this journey is not easy. This disease, you relapse sometimes. No one’s perfect. It is one day at a time, and I wasn’t doing one day at a time. I wasn’t. And I wasn’t using my resources. I stopped calling my sponsor… I stopped going to meetings. I stopped seeing my therapist, because I was, like, ‘I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. All my dreams are coming true.’
All the jobs that I wanted to get that I got because I was sober and was capable to be present enough to do them. And then I was, like, ‘Oh my God. All your dreams are coming true. You’re gonna have to destroy it now. You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve this.’ And I let it get the better of me.”
Kelly said her Dad Ozzy and brother Jack’s health problems played a role in her relapse.
“I’m not good in situations, like most addicts, that you can’t control. And everything that went on recently with my family got too much for me; I couldn’t take it. And then, with everything that’s been going on in this world and never knowing if you’re allowed to say something or not, because I just wake up wanting to be a good person and help people and work for equality and work for just the right to be who you are, no matter what.
And when you have no control over that because the rules are changing every day, it makes you feel like, ‘What the fuck am I supposed to do?’ And then I was dealing with my dad’s Parkinson’s [disease]. And I was dealing with, am I ready to be working again? Is this what I want? And everything just got too much, and I f**king crumbled.
The addict in me wants me to be drunk, alone, unhappy, no boyfriend, no friends, sitting in my apartment by myself,” Kelly added. “That’s where I am most comfortable — drinking. And I was in complete isolation, drinking and sleeping and not being fucking human in any way. And that lasted for one week until, the truth is, my boyfriend looked at me, and I could tell he was, like, ‘You’re disgusting.’
And I was, like, ‘Oh my God. What the f**k am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?’ And the next day, I was, like, ‘Nope. Done.’ I had entered into an outpatient again, because I think I needed a little bit of extra help. I think it’s really important to do that when you relapse.”