Almost a year after the death of her younger brother, Christopher Ciccone, Madonna has talked publicly about their strained relationship and the forgiveness that came before his passing.
The 67-year-old singer made her podcast debut on On Purpose with Jay Shetty, where she explained how forgiveness has become an important part of her spiritual journey. She admitted that for years she believed she could “never” forgive her brother, whom she once saw as one of her “biggest enemies,” especially after feeling betrayed by him.
Madonna explained that it is often hardest to forgive the people closest to us because they can hurt us the most. She said holding on to anger or resentment feels like gaining strength, but in reality, it “weighs you down and is poisonous.”
“There’s things that have happened to me in my life that I just thought, ‘I will never I will never forgive this person,'” Madonna told Shetty. “Now I just don’t want to have those feelings anymore ’cause it’s a prison and it’s poison to not be able to forgive and to live in a state of like holding a grudge or hating someone or wanting them to suffer.
This pain is unbearable and you think what’s going to save you is to think vengeful thoughts or to never forgive. Like that’s going to give you some kind of power, magical power. It doesn’t, it just weighs you down and eats away at you and is poisonous.”
Ciccone had been both a collaborator and critic of Madonna. He worked as her dresser, art director, and interior designer, even helping with artwork for Like a Prayer and the Blond Ambition World Tour. But their relationship soured after he released his 2008 memoir Life With My Sister Madonna, which shared private details about her life. Madonna never read the book but found it “very upsetting,” according to her longtime representative.
When Ciccone later fell ill, he reached out to Madonna for help. She described the moment as a turning point, saying she asked herself, “Am I going to help my enemy?” She chose compassion, and the experience lifted a heavy burden. “To finally be able to be in a room with him, holding his hand even if he was dying, and saying, ‘I love you and I forgive you’ that was really important,” she said.
Madonna also revealed she has been writing new music inspired by her brother, including a song called Fragile and another titled Forgive Yourself. The latter includes the chorus: “If you can’t forgive me, forgive yourself.” She connected this message to her studies of Kabbalah, which taught her that forgiving others and oneself is essential for spiritual growth.
