Pretty Green

And Now A Totally Fake Interview With John Squire Of The Stone Roses

Recently I didn’t have the chance to sit down with John Squire and I wanted to share the results of it here!

BPN: Hi John! Thanks for taking the time to speak with me today!
John: …
BPN: So the stone roses reformed, that’s pretty great and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your band was essential towards being the sound of political change in the late 80’s and now has the chance to for 2012. Any comparisons to then and now?
BPN: Let me try a different route. What was the feeling like of the first rehearsal?
John: ….
BPN: OOOOOOK? So, one of my favorite moments while playing in a band was after practice and grabbing a beer with the crew. We’d talk about music and stuff..and..more stuff..How about you. Any moments like that after all these years away from the guys?
BPN: (eye’s blink)
BPN: You can join in ANYTIME.
John: (shuffles feet)
BPN: Those are some pretty sweet shoes, where did you get them?
John: (moves right foot)
BPN: Ok. Well now. I can see we’re not off to a blazing start. Maybe this is my fault. Probably is. I’m not press you know that right?
John: ….
BPN: No, really. I’m a huge fan. I’ve actually bought all the import albums, I’ve had posters up in various rooms in my house for the past 15 years, I’ve read all the books, AND I liked the Solo Stuff. I mean I created a website 10 years ago dedicated to YOUR totally defunct band. I really like you. We’re talking restraining order “like”.
John: (looks up)
BPN: Ok..we’ll we are getting somewhere.
John: ….
BPN: Or, maybe not.
John: ….
BPN: Listen man, I know this is your shtick – or at least was in 1989, but this is 2012. Obama was elected. Can we MOVE ON?
John: (mumble)
BPN: What’s that?
John: (mumble)
BPN: Ok, seriously, dude. What’s beef?
John: (mumble’s softer)
BPN: I’m trying to figure out where I messed up. Did you find out I just up and kill your kittens with STONE ROSES CD’S?
John: That was you?
BPN: Ok, well, that was NOT me. I was just trying to get you to say something.
John: (vacant stare)
BPN: I’m not really sure why you, who possess such talent with a guitar and whose knowledge and interpretation of life as well as biblical stories is so excellent that you can then translate that imagery into words all the while in a ultra crafted song that appeals to the masses cannot even engage with me in conversation?
John: ….
BPN: Seriously dude. This is soooo old.
John: ….
BPN: John. Maybe we got off the wrong foot.
BPN: I’m a fan. I like your music. I cannot wait to see you play live; it will be one of the greatest moments in my LIFE. As great as my wedding day (KIDDING HONEY!) (not). I really respect the quality of song’s you’ve crafted over the years and the ability to be so seminal and beloved yet not let that get to your head. I really do! I just want to talk with you!

John: ….
BPN: DUDE! Not. Cool.
John: shuffles feet
BPN: Ok. Let me try a different approach. Name your favorite band right now.

BPN: ….