Pretty Green

Noel Gallagher Is Clearly Not A ‘One Direction’ Fan

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Noel Gallagher isn’t done slagging on One Direction. And hey, why not? They’re asking for it, right?

A few months after he extended a middle digit at the little wankers while they silly-danced and lip-synched through the BRIT Awards, Gallagher – one half of the beat-‘em-up brother duo Oasis, the band that One Direction’s parents lost their virginity to – kept dropping bombs last weekend while winning Outstanding Song Collection prize at the Ivor Novello awards.
(Note to Yanks: It’s a huge honor in the U.K., which is why you’ve never heard of it unless you live in your mum’s basement and watch endless hours of Palladia.)
When Gallagher was asked why the award is so important to him, he punched One Direction verbally much the same way he once punched brother Liam physically. ”There aren’t any clowns like One Direction here,” Noel jabbed. ”It’s not about what clothes you wear or how nimble you are or who you are sucking. It’s about the songs. Songs last forever. You can have that lyric.”
Not impressed by a 45-year-old who hates a boy band as much as every other 45-year-old? He is. In case you haven’t been on the planet the past few decades, Noel likes himself. Bunches. The lad who wrote “Wonderwall” apparently has one devoted entirely to himself.
“I go between thinking I’m very lucky,” he says, “or, ‘Of course it’ll be brilliant. I’m doing it.’”
The little wankers’ parents agree, no doubt. Without Noel, their moneymakers wouldn’t exist.